Chokers have long been a staple in both fashion and kink, symbolising everything from elegance to submission. For those who live the BDSM lifestyle or simply appreciate the beauty and meaning behind power dynamics, wearing a choker can be a powerful way to express their identity. But how do you incorporate a symbol often tied to intimate spaces into your everyday look? In this blog, we explore the art of blending fashion with kink and how to wear chokers as a subtle expression of your submissive side in daily life.
A Symbolic Connection
In BDSM dynamics, particularly Dominance and submission (D/s) relationships, collars and chokers hold deep significance. For the submissive in the relationship, wearing a choker can represent devotion, ownership, or a connection to their Dominant. It’s a tangible reminder of their role and the power exchange that exists within their relationship.
However, not every environment is kink-friendly, and not every submissive wants their collar to be obvious. This is where chokers come in—a stylish accessory that can convey a similar meaning, but in a much more discreet and socially acceptable manner. Whether you're in the office, out with friends, or running errands, a choker can be your subtle nod to the dynamic that empowers you.
Choosing the Right Choker for Everyday Wear
Not all chokers are created equal, and different designs carry different messages, whether you want them to or not. Here are a few ways to choose a choker that fits your style while still honouring its deeper significance.
Minimalist Leather Chokers
Leather is a classic material in BDSM, often used in collars. A simple, thin leather choker can be worn with a variety of outfits, giving off a sleek, understated vibe. Opt for smooth black leather for an elegant look or brown for something more rustic. Both can be paired with casual or formal wear without drawing too much attention.
Delicate Chains
A delicate chain choker offers a more refined look, perfect for those who want to subtly represent their submissive side. It’s lightweight and doesn’t scream BDSM, but for those in the know, it can still be a powerful symbol. You can even incorporate small charms, like a lock or key, that can serve as a private nod to your dynamic.
Velvet, Satin Elastic and Lace Chokers
For a more romantic and vintage feel, velvet, satin elastic or lace chokers offer a softer touch. These materials are versatile, blending well with both casual and dressy outfits. They add a touch of femininity while maintaining the intimate connection that chokers often symbolise in kink relationships.
Lock and Key Designs
Some chokers come with lock and key motifs, which are popular in BDSM as symbols of submission and ownership. These can be more obvious, but when crafted delicately, they still fit into everyday outfits without feeling overtly sexualised. Choose smaller, more subtle lock designs if you're concerned about discretion.
Neutral Tones for Versatility
Opting for neutral colours like black, white, or beige ensures your choker will match a wide range of outfits, making it easier to incorporate into your daily look. Neutrals blend seamlessly into different aesthetics, whether you're dressing for a professional meeting or a casual weekend outing.
Blending Kink with Your Personal Style
The key to wearing a choker as a submissive is to let it blend naturally with your personal style. Whether you're a jeans-and-tee person or someone who loves flowy dresses, the choker should complement rather than compete with your outfit.
Layering with Other Accessories
If you’re concerned about your choker standing out too much, try layering it with other necklaces. A dainty chain or pendant can draw attention away from the choker itself, making it part of a curated, stylish ensemble rather than a standalone statement piece.
Incorporating the Choker into Your Routine
Make wearing a choker part of your daily routine, especially if it has emotional significance in your D/s relationship. Over time, it will feel less like a fashion accessory and more like a subtle symbol of your dynamic, allowing you to carry that energy with you throughout the day.
Balancing Formality and Subtlety
If you’re heading into formal spaces, choose chokers that are elegant and understated. Something sleek and minimal, like a gold or silver band, won’t raise eyebrows but will still carry the personal meaning you attach to it.
It's An Art Form
Incorporating chokers into your everyday style as a submissive is an art form—one that balances personal expression with the subtleties of public life. Whether you prefer delicate chains or bold leather, the choker can serve as a quiet reminder of your power dynamic while still blending seamlessly with your personal style.
Ultimately, the key to wearing a choker as a representation of your submission is confidence. Wear it proudly, knowing that it’s a beautiful symbol of your relationship, your role, and your style.